


And I’m Tangled Up in You

by mcgarrygirl78



Series: Thicker than Water [13]
Category: Criminal Minds
Genre: Alternate Universe, F/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-10
Updated: 2014-10-10
Packaged: 2018-02-20 14:25:59
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,225
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2432078
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mcgarrygirl78/pseuds/mcgarrygirl78
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>If they were going to be lovers for life anyway, was it so wrong to start this afternoon?</p>
            </blockquote>





	And I’m Tangled Up in You

**Author's Note:**

> This story is written in the **Thicker than Water** universe. It’s for the alphabet meme and [](http://citymusings.livejournal.com/profile)[**citymusings**](http://citymusings.livejournal.com/)’ prompt of **L is for lunchtime love**. The title comes from the Howie Day song, _Collide_. The song used in the story is Bic Runga’s _Sway_ , a major song for this pairing. Endless thanks to [](http://kosmickway.livejournal.com/profile)[](http://kosmickway.livejournal.com/)**kosmickway** for beta reading and reminding me to speak ‘teen’. I blame _Dawson’s Creek_.

_Don’t stray, don’t ever go away_  
 _I should be much too smart for this_  
 _You know it gets the better of me_  
 _Sometimes, when you and I collide_  
 _I fall into an ocean of you, pull me out in time_  
 _Don’t let me drown, let me down_  
 _I say it’s all because of you_  
 _And here I go, losing my control_  
 _I'm practicing your name_  
 _So I can say it to your face_ …

She pulled the tee shirt over his head; Jason threw it on the floor. He pulled her to him and kissed her passionately. Emily moaned, running her fingers through his dark, curly hair. The feeling of skin on skin made her quiver and her quiver caught Jason. She wrapped her legs around him as their kisses intensified.

Jason pulled away for just a moment, looked into her eyes. They weren't as dark as his but always intense. Looking at her, he could read Emily like a book. He knew what she was thinking and feeling. He knew that her body yearned for his as much as his yearned for hers. He knew that anything could happen this afternoon if they let it.

He didn’t want to stop. Jason didn’t want to leave the loving embrace of her long limbs and the softness of her pouty lips. Diving back in, his lips trailed across her throat and collarbone. Emily was topless too, dressed in a powder pink bra made of cotton and lace. For the first time ever, his fingers toyed with the soft material. Jason rolled his fingers over it, committed it to memory.

“Touch me, Jason.” Emily whispered. “Please.”

“I…” what could he say? He couldn’t say no; right or wrong he was tired of that answer. Jason usually consoled himself with knowing it would be yes for the rest of his life. That wasn’t going to work today. It surely wouldn’t work with Emily reaching behind her to unsnap the bra. She pulled it away from her, dropping it over the side of the bed. “Katya…”

“Just relax,” She slipped her arms around his neck. “I want you Jason…don’t you want me?”

“You're the most beautiful thing I've ever seen.” There was nothing else to say but the truth. “I love you so much.” Jason replied, his voice sounding as if it was falling away. He was falling away too. Jason threw out his arms and just flew.

Foreplay wasn’t supposed to be the plan when they made plans for a private lunch. Was it? It was a stifling July afternoon; the last few weeks of their stay in the apartment. Everyone was looking forward to the move and just having more space to live and grow. In the apartment there was rarely an opportunity to be alone…something like that had to be planned perfectly.

Jason did all of the planning. Emily had the day off from the swim club where she was a junior lifeguard. He worked the morning shift at Beans, getting off at one. Penelope and Spencer were at camp. Derek was at football camp at the Boys and Girls Club. JJ was there too, having showed some interest in soccer. Hotch was working at Kassmeyer’s before meeting up with Haley for an afternoon out.

The teens didn’t plan a tryst; they never planned things like that. They just wanted to be together, make some lunch, and revel in a little boyfriend-girlfriend time. It wasn’t often that the only thing they had to concern themselves with was each other. All teenagers deserved those moments.

They deserved the giddy, breathless kisses. They deserved the touches, the long moans, and the electricity coursing through their bloodstreams. They deserved to teeter on the line between childhood and adulthood like everyone their age did. After all, this was real love, not that fleeting burst of hormones so many of their peers dealt with on the daily basis. If they were going to be lovers for life anyway, was it so wrong to start this afternoon?

Emily quickly undid Jason’s khaki shorts and slipped her hand inside. He squirmed, tried to protest but found himself speechless. He moved his hand down in an attempt to stop hers but it felt so good; no one had ever touched him there. No one could ever touch him like she could. Just the thought of this for the rest of his life was enough to make Jason’s head explode.

“Oh God,” his hot breath moaned in her ear. “Don’t…don’t stop.”

“Mmm.” She giggled, having no intention of it. She wanted to tell him how good it felt to touch him. She wanted him to know what his felt like in her hands but said nothing. Emily feared her words would only break their connection.

“Oh God,” Jason felt his body tense in the best possible way. “Oh my God, ohhh…”

He couldn’t believe this was happening. This wasn’t supposed to be happening; this was bad. But it felt so good. He wanted Emily to touch him, to experience what he experienced when he touched himself. He always imagined it was her anyway, even if he thought that was wrong.

He wanted to brush up against her, hear her moan the way he moaned. He wanted to tangle his hands through her hair and his tongue to play with her tongue. The goose bumps made Jason both hot and cold as he felt himself falling. He feared grabbing her too hard, too tight, but there was nothing else he could do. He had to release; had to let go of the delicious torture of her hand moving slowly, than quickly, then slowly again.

The noises he made were in a language he didn’t understand but Emily seemed to. She was speaking back to him in the same way. Could she like it as much as he did? How? He wasn’t even touching her. Knowing what she was doing to him, Jason was still afraid to touch her. He wanted to desperately but hardly knew how. So he held her instead, relished the feeling of her breasts on his chest and her hand moving his pants. What a dirty little bastard he was, a dirty, selfish bastard.

“Katya!” he shrieked in a voice he probably hadn't heard since his voice changed over five years before.

Jason shook, as if jolted by electricity, before his body slacked on top of hers. He’d made a mess…oh God he made such a mess. Too scared to move, he just lay there wrapped in the blanket of his shame. Except that the blanket was her arms and Emily kissed his temple as she whispered her love for him. She loved him, she would always love him, and she loved him even more in this moment.

“I'm sorry.” He whispered, finally finding the strength to pull away from her. Jason couldn’t look in her eyes; didn’t want her to see his shame.

“Why are you apologizing to me?” she asked.

“This mess…we have to clean up…oh God, I'm sorry.”

“Jason, stop apologizing.” She sat up just like he had.

He swung his feet over onto the floor, cleaned himself up and put his face in his hands. When Emily wrapped her arms around him he fought the urge to push her away. He knew he needed to calm down, this wasn’t her fault and rejecting her right now was the worst thing he could do. How could he have been so careless as to lose control like this?

“I love you, Jason. Tell me that you love me.”

“I love you.”

“Do you mean it?” she asked.

“Of course I mean it. I've never felt this way before and you know that.”

“Then you shouldn’t be ashamed.” Emily replied.

“But you…”

“I what? You put everyone and everything ahead of your needs. Who is supposed to take care of you?”

“I'm OK.” He said.

“You're not OK. You need someone to put you first; that’s why I'm here. For just one afternoon I wanted to be able to take care of you. I wanted you to feel good and know that someone loves you, and wants you.”

“Huh?” he turned around to look at her, his eyes immediately downcast. “Em please put on a shirt.”

“OK.” She nodded, reaching down for his tee shirt on the floor. When she pulled it over her head he was able to look at her again. “Is that better?”

“Yeah.” Jason nodded. “I just don’t want you to ever feel like you have to do sexual things to me.”

“I don’t feel that way. You need to stop thinking that every intimate moment with us will remind me of what my Uncle did to me.”

“Emily…”

“Stop.” She put her finger on his lips. She took a deep breath and tried to figure out what she wanted to say. Making Jason feel uncomfortable or hurting him was something Emily never wanted to do. At the same time, sometimes you had to say the harsh things and get them out of the way.

“Someone who was supposed to love me and take care of me violated my trust.” Emily said. “He violated my body, my soul, and no one did anything to stop him…not even me. That’s not love, that’s sick and controlling and it’s a crime. When I'm with you I would never feel the same things I felt when that happened to me.

“You are sensitive, beautiful, and when you feel good it makes me so happy. I take care of you because I love you. You don’t have to do anything until you're comfortable. I don’t mind taking the wheel sometimes…I like driving.” Emily smiled, caressing his face. “But sometimes you’ve got to give up the control. You’ve got to let go, let it happen and know I can handle it. Let me express myself too.”

“There are other ways to express yourself.” He replied.

“You're trying not to understand on purpose.” Frustration seeped into Emily’s voice.

“No, no,” Jason shook his head. “I think I know what you're saying. I just…I always want to make sure that I respect you as the woman I love.”

“You never have to worry about that.” she caressed his face. “I know that you respect me; you show me every single day. I'm not afraid of you or your feelings, Jason.”

Jason didn’t know what else to say so he just pulled her close. He held her tight to him and wished he could say it like she could. Why did he feel so ashamed and tongue-tied? He wished she knew just how fuckin awesome what just happened was. It was somewhere deep in him, the urge to kiss her and whisper to her that it was fuckin fantastic.

He wanted to tell her that knowing no one else would ever do that to him made it even better. He wanted her shirt to be off again and for them to lie together, skin to skin, and just be. He wanted that to be OK, normal; a regular occurrence. But they weren't regular teenagers, no matter how much they wanted to be. Or maybe it was just Jason who wasn’t regular.

“Penny for your thoughts.” She whispered in his ear.

“One day I’ll be able to tell you everything I want to.”

“And I’ll be here to listen.”

“I just want to lie here with you, is that OK Emily?”

“Are you serious?” She pulled away to look at him. “That would be awesome; truly awesome.”

“I’ll get something to clean up the mess.”

Sighing, Jason climbed off the bed and went into the bathroom. He grabbed his towel and looked at himself in the mirror. He didn’t look any different. He still had the unruly curls, made no better by the humidity in the city. He still had the dark eyes, almost black, with the circles starting to form again.

His shoulders were still slightly hunched, which was weird since he tended to walk ramrod straight. Nothing about him had changed physically, but he was different anyway. Jason wondered if Emily was. He hadn't even touched her. She offered, without any words, but he didn’t indulge. She was too young and this probably shouldn’t happen again until she was more mature.

That didn’t mean Jason had to turn it into a mistake. It wasn’t, and he couldn’t make her feel as if it was. She said she did it because she loved him…he wanted to be loved by her. Sometimes there was no other way to express that love than with the body. He knew that from books and Dave Rossi.

It couldn’t be wrong to love someone like he did Emily and express it. This was a moment, a moment they both surrendered to. Jason exhaled when Emily came and wrapped her arms around him. She kissed between his shoulder blades.

“C'mon you, lets take a nap. This place will be jam-packed in no time.”

He nodded, letting her take his hand and lead the way to the bedroom. Sleeping sounded like a good idea; Jason was always tired. Sleeping with Emily sounded even better. It sounded like heaven. All Jason wanted was to be close to her. It didn’t get much better than that.

***

  



End file.
